Without a plan, there is still a plan! 😉
Have you been to the 7000SuperStars Section before? If you’ve been there, you must have already met with our guest in this post. It is Ms. Agueda (Agatha) Gomez, who is an active professional manager and a mother of four wonderful grown up children. As she promised us, she’s answering more questions sent by UC Berkeley student.
Ms. Gomez is a very special friend who is considered a symbol of cheerfulness, you never see her except smiling in spite of all her complicated work. This time she talks about:
The relationship between a mother and her son different from her relationship with her daughter:
Good Morning Sophie,
That is a very interesting topic. I was not born in the USA. This rich Country full of different cultures, As mother of 3 sons and 1 daughter I can honestly tell you that I favor my sons versus my daughter. I know that it is culture because I saw it in my own home having 2 brothers and 1 sister, my mother always favored my brother versus my sister and I. Growing up my mother often said to my sister and I “You should learn from your brothers.”
My sister and I were not able to help my mother because we got married and have kids while my brothers were single supported my mom and gave her money.
How should a mother react when it comes to her son’s girlfriend or wife:
In my experience with my adult sons and their girlfriends. I try to be as neutral as possible. I don’t give them my opinion if they don’t ask for it. I just listened to them and say ” really?” or something positive to encourage them to continue talking. My children grow up without of father and I only know how to be a mother and love them and respect their decisions because they are the only ones that are going to have the consequence for their actions. I made many mistakes at the beginning and I apologized. Now I have good relationships with their girlfriends and exes.
The relationship between mothers and adult-children:
I learned that I have to be quiet and listen and let them make the decisions on their own. Sometimes they have the answers to all the questions just by letting them vent and listening themselves talk.
I can only support them because they chose their girlfriends and I don’t have to intervene in their relationship because you start to liking or disliking their girlfriend and they end up breaking up and you intervene for nothing and you get yourself mad or sad for nothing.
Just stay out of their relationship and be a loving mother for both adult male and female adult children. You will prevent lots of headaches if you are a loving mother to your children not someone else’s children.
Do you think that the media misrepresent the mother and the mother-in-law picture for the youth which created a kind of disapproval from the part of her children?
I think because my children have so much pressure from the media and is hard to keep up with their generation and their environment and culture is not easy for them to make the right decisions to have healthy relationship with a woman that is going to be their partner for life vs. the woman that gives them life and she love unconditional and that is not easy.
I believe in God and I understand that my children are borrowed. I don’t know how long I get to be their mom; I am doing the best of our time together with the resources that God has provided for me and my children.
I will always love and support their decisions, they have to live with them. Not me. Thank you.
Thank you for being here all friends from the US, the UK, India, Canada, Philippines, Nigeria, Germany, Mexico, Portugal, Kenya, Hungary, China, South Korea, Colombia, Argentina, Maylasia, Japan, Ireland, Indonesia, Finland, Australia, Tailand, Pakistan, Russia, Brazil, and all!
Until we chat again, there is still plenty of chatting with Ms. Agueda, with our hugs and kisses ❤