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“Love is the absence of judgement”, and I wondered if it was true!
It got my attention, when I saw it in the window of one of the stores in Berkeley. If you’re familiar with Shattuck Ave in Berkeley, you would probably know what I’m talking about.
I agreed with that statement after thinking about it many times, and analyzing it in my own way. I had three elements: love, judgement, and absence.
“Love” is a good feeling for someone else not yourself. It can be a family love, from a mother to a son, or vice versa. A love that exists between family members in general. It could be a love between friends, lovers, co-workers, or any other. It does not have to be between two parties or more. The family love is different though from a love or rather a like between friends at work, or between a teacher & students, or a boss & her employees.
The absolute family love expects nothing from the receiver of this love. It comes natural and satisfying, while the other kinds of love or like may carry some judgement in their folds.
“Judgement” is when you or I classify the action of another person and give it a trait such as courage, meanness, inspiring, etc. You attach a certain quality to a person based on a saying or an action that person did or responded. For example, you saw a friend entering a bar, then you thought he must be a drinker or a bar person. In that instance, you passed a judgement to that friend, whom you thought you liked or loved.
But the reality was that you apparently did not like or love that person that much, because you didn’t even asked him about it. You just profiled him, and kept it in your agenda, and from that moment on, you dealt with him as a bar persona. There was no absence of judgement. Therefore, it is not a real love.
“Absence” is when there is no existence of something or someone. Absence of judgement is when you deal with the person without thinking about anything this person is doing without measuring it, or without giving it any weights. It is hard to control your mind not to judge others, it’s a kind of innate ability that we have it in our minds. Even the absence of judgement we do it unconsciously. We just enjoy the person we love, and interact with her/him.
The bottom line is that when you have an absolute love for someone, you do not thinking of judging that person, and it is automatically done, as if you’re programmed not to judge this person for whom you have an absolute love. You don’t ask yourself why you love that person, and I think, the person who wrote that statement in that store wrote that for people to have them know something about themselves, and about love.
Dear friends, we’re glad to meet you and we’ll leave you with our hugs and kisses, until we talk again ❤