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Why would Stuart say that?
Helping others need to be planned if you are into it. For some, helping others comes as a habit rather than sympathy or empathy.
Stuart said that he didn’t like helping other b/c it always brought problems for him. Do you agree with him even partially?
Let’s have an example here: You’re standing in a line at the post office. It’s really quite long line and that lady stood after you in line where you were at the very end. She was carrying garbage pages that had boxes inside. They were quite big compared to her size.
After talking to herself briefly she asked you while she was less than 6 feet away from you and while you started thinking if you should advise her on keeping more distance apart: “Can I ask you a favor?”. You were writing the address on the USPS envelope so you were thinking: “Oh great now I’ll write a wrong address on this important envelope”. You looked at her peripherally and you thought if you should say yes or no.
But she didn’t really wait for an answer from you. She continued: “I thought I forgot my glasses outside in the car. My husband is sitting in the car but I forgot my glasses. Can I run to the car to grab them; it would be a second, can you watch these bags for me until I’m back?”
There was no even “please” in her question. You were thinking why she approached you and made the distance between both of you that short, what if she carried any germs or the deadly Co19? You were thinking you’d never write that address correctly while that lady stood over our head.
OMG! What a dilemma! When you had the right word in your mouth and were about to utter it, a woman in front of the one before you said: “I can do that for you, bring them here” That strange woman behind you: moved fast to the volunteer-one pushing the bags with her feet towards the other.
Your mouth was open for a moment but you didn’t say anything, and you felt other people might thought you were scared. Then you heard the volunteer saying: “Just hope that there’s no bomb inside”, and although she sounded like laughing but you felt she meant it.
The bags’ lady didn’t take a moment; the line moved on and on, and nobody came back. OMG! I told myself: “OMG! I knew it. It felt so awkward. She looked so unright. There was something about the whole act.”
The volunteer lady stared at the glass windows and the lady before me was helping her saying that she couldn’t see that bags’ lady anywhere in the parking area.
You see now why Stuart said what he said.
Hard to trust anyone anymore, but still there are people who are addicted to helping others, as if it is in their own blood. Here’s why:
Behavioral experts agree that “helping” does indeed have the potential to become an addiction. When we help others, our brains emit three chemicals, often referred to as the happiness trifecta:
-Serotonin (produces intense feelings of wellbeing)
-Dopamine (intensifies motivation)
-Oxytocin (increases a sense of connection to others)
The “feel good” outcome of this combination naturally makes us want to repeat it. But when our need to help becomes so insatiable that our sense of purpose is tied directly to others, specifically, them needing our guidance, it is no longer other people that we are helping. It is ourselves. More